An Open Letter to all of the Summertime Jammers

Dear Sisqo/R. Kelly/Beyonce/Will Smith and DJ Jazzy Jeff/Jay-Z,

When was the last time you guys came out with an awesome summer jam?

There's only so many summer mixes that can include "The Thong Song," or "Remix to Ignition."

I'm strugglin', ya'll.

It's already July and the best I can do for Summer Mix '09 is that damn "I'm on a boat."

Come on.

Sisqo-can I make a suggestion? You used to be all up ONs a summer jam, and even often refered to yourself as some sort of "dragon." Maybe you could use that. Everyone loves a good sequel, especially one 10 years in the making (I know, I was shocked to learn that your greatest hit is entering it's decade mark as well) so maybe you could have some sort of "Thong song II" or "Dragon Summer" I don't know. Give me something for God's sake.

R. Kelly-I know you've been *ahem* busy, with your trials and your trapped in the closet sagas, but I used to start subconsiously swaying whenever I'd hear the sweet intro to Remix to Ignition. I don't actually recall the first Ignition song, if there ever was one. The great thing about a remix is you can mix it all over again. maybe you could just release the same exact single under a different title. Who cares-I'm desperate here.

Beyonce - I remember the first time I hear a music tone ringtone. It was Andi Till's new motorolla, and I was sitting in the chapter room at the Chi Omega house. I remember thinking how great technology was, after hearing the sweet sound of "Baby Boy" digitized and made into a small file (an mp-what?!) Sure, you haven't exactly stopped. You put out that single about boxes to the left, and something about single ladies, but things just haven't been the same. Where's that Sean Paul/Beyonce duo I've so long waited for? Help a single lady out!

Will Smith - you just ought to be ashamed of yourself. Summertime is one the most amazing songs (and my current ringtone) on the summer jam market to this day. Just because you didn't disappear into obscurity like SOME people on that track doesn't mean you can bank off of that forever. I need some big Willy style, but preferably circa 1988. How am I supposed to be chillin out maxin relaxin all cool shootin some bball outside of the school without it?

And finally, Jay Z-you're arguably my favorite. "big pimpin'" pretty much completes my life. It was the original "I'm on a boat" and way before you ever met your lady love, so you were, in fact, big pimpin' at that time. As you say in the song, "I got no patience. I hate waitin'" so give me another summer jam before I have to resort to dusting the dirt off of your old singles instead of my shoulder.

So come on guys,

you can't have completely dropped off the face of the planet. Sisqo, your hair alone acts like a beacon of hope. Please fellas (and Beyonce), help me make this summer mix, or at least 2010's mix a memorable one.

Love,
Dominique