Passion Vs. Responsibility

Let's talk about drumming.

I'm not going to lie to you-I didn't so much as touch a pair of drum sticks yesterday at my lesson.
Here's how things went down: I knew Harry would be running late (poor guy is ALWAYS running late) so I let myself into his house as I always do, fell asleep on his couch for about 20 minutes, woke up when he got there and then we proceeded to talk about life for another hour or so.

That said, it doesn't mean I didn't learn anything yesterday. We talk about everything, but we mostly stick to music. Inevitably, Dave Matthews Band was mentioned, and I learned that he had already gotten tickets for at least 5 of the upcoming spring tour shows. This guy is devoted. I covet Harry's life a little bit, but as he (and Bishop Allen) point out, "Things are what you make of them." If my life is anything less than I really want it to be, then that's my fault. I don't have to work at a job I don't like. As Harry said, I don't have to work at all. I could quit my job, stop paying bills, live on the street and have all day to practice if I wanted to, and he's right. (I'm not going to do that, well at least not the stop paying bills/live in the streets part)

This really got me thinking about passion vs. responsibility. As I get older, I find myself more and more losing everything that is important to me because I feel the need to live this life of responsibility. I have a college degree therefore I must have a professional job therefore I must devote 40 hours a week to it therefore I must go to bed at 10 every night therefore I have no time to practice blah blah blah...it could literally go on forever. So what I have to do now is question how much devotion I have to my drums or my own happiness in general for that matter. Am I willing to make the time to practice everyday? Am I willing to do what I need to do to get the drumset I need for that? or do I even need a drum set? Alot of people find rythm all around them, using pens at their desk or pots and pans at home. I just don't know if I have that gift.

Watching people like Harry (yes, just watching him, his actions, expressions, thought process) makes me really think about how unsatisfying and miserable a dispassionate life can be. So, a new mission (let's just add it to my mile long list, shall we?): find my passion.

How's your life?

Mine's good, thanks.

I know all of you (and by all of you, I mean the maybe 3 people that occasionally read my blog) are expecting a drum lesson recap for today, but Harry was sick yesterday so we rescheduled for this afternoon instead.

I would just wait until tomorrow to do an entire week-in-review, but my printer at work is broken and as it turns out, I can't hardly do a damn thing without it. So, I blog.

This week has been christmas-tastic. Monday we had an ornament swap at Jamie's house. I've gotten oddly competitive in my *ahem* old age, so I was secretly pleased when my blue glittery skiing penguin kept being stolen in a wicked game of dirty santa.

Tuesday was the greatest night of all (thus far)

I went with Katie to see Avenue Q at the BJCC, and we were definitely supposed to be in the nosebleed section, but a little Birdie (literally, her name was Birdie) told us to go have a seat in orchestra until the show started so we wouldn't get locked out, but once we found some stellar seats (much, MUCH better than the ones I had actually paid for) we stayed put. For those of you who don't know what Avenue Q is, it's a broadway production based on characters played by both humans and mostly puppets. The main theme is life after college, so you know it was like the story of my life, puppet style. True to broadway form, this was in no way meant for children. It featured such themes as internet porn, obscene language, puppet sex (yes, I said puppet sex), and songs with titles like "everyone's a little bit racist" and "If you were Gay"

Here are some of the main characters:

Wednesday I took a half day off of work to go to Calera Elementary to witness/help Katie with her class production of "christmas around the world"

*side note-if you have not read Katie's blog "The Shrop Stop" you need to do so NOW. right now, as in, you can leave my blog for a minute to read hers because you need to understand how hilarious her 1st grade kids are.

ok, back to the story. So I go all the way out to Calera, and find my way to "Miss Shrop's class" and what is the first thing I hear Katie say to her kids when I walk in?

"What did I say about leaning on the bookshelf? It is big and white and heavy and it what? that's right, it CRUSHES children." I could barely contain my laughter. It just got better from there. I got to hear all about what the kid's wanted for christmas, including Briana/Dylan who wants a "gun, so I can go huntin' with my daddy." The theme was "christmas around the world, so different kids were assigned different countries to represent and tell stories of how they celebrate Christmas. It was so cute, but I don't know how Katie does it. She says she is "on the verge of a mental breakdown, any day now." but I don't think it's true. You can tell she really loves her kids.

So tonight I have my drum lesson with Harry, who will hopefully be feeling much better, and I will hopefully not be so distracted, and then afterwards I am head to fun Bobby's house for his tacky sweater party, and tomorrow I will proceed with part 2 of this blog.

Pickle Chips, Meiko and Grad School

What do those three things have in common? Nothing, except being a huge part of my thoughts over the past 24 hours.

First of all, pickle chips are amazing. I first discovered them about a month ago in the downstairs vending machine at Inverness, and bought them on a whim. Good call. GOOD CALL. I'm eating some as I type, and their deliciousness never ceases.

I recommend Snyder's (but that's only because that's the only kind I've ever had)

Now, on to other (seemingly) more important things. Lucy called me up yesterday afternoon to spread the good word that Meiko was playing a free acoustic set at the Wine Loft downtown last night around 6ish. Meiko sings my theme song (Boys with Girlfriends) so naturally I wanted to see this person who spoke volumes of the truth in the flesh.

I feel like Meiko and I would be really good friends. She's funny, and her songs reflect a lot of the same ideas I have about relationships. It was a really good show. She only played for about 30 minutes or so, which was enough to have a glass of wine and decide that I'm buying her cd today. Let me tell you a little something about the Wine Loft downtown...the atmosphere is much like workplay. Dim lighting, alcohol, trendy dressed people all sitting around. Which means, I have found yet another place that I would most definitely fall in love at if I had a date there. I've talked about this before, as it is both awesome and terrible. Awesome, because for one night I'm in a perfect place, listening to some awesome artist, with someone that appreciates it, and me. Terrible, because the next day is a whole new light. It's like workplay and the wine loft are my "drunk goggles." Sometimes things are good, but for the most part, I just need to remember that no matter how I feel that evening, things are going to look a lot more different outside of a cozy atmosphere.

Now on to the grad school. Lucy got in, which has inspired me to quit talking about it, and actually pursue getting my master's in seconday education. So I've taken step one, which is to figure out the best way to achieve this. I've been advised (thank you, Michael Stevens, 'grad school guru') to get an alternative master's in seconday ed with an emphasis in English. This will earn me my degree as well as my teaching certificate. I've also now taken step two, which is to officially register to take the MAT test on January 17th. If I can get a good score (and I better, because it's really expensive to take it) then I can go ahead and apply for grad school to get in by the summer of 09. Cool, huh? It's going to be really great if I get in, with the exception that I will have no life whatsoever for a while, trying to take 3 classes a semester as well as work full time and continue my drumming. (you didn't think I'd give that up, did you?)

And now, obligatory pics. Please enjoy these pictures from my undergrad graduation.

and this is Meiko:

and these are pickle chips:

Great Article

I know, I usually write about my experiences, but this article randomly stumbled upon during my facebook stalking simply struck me as amazing. It's not particularly well-written, (and by that I mean it's not chock-full of fancy words and quips), but the subject is one very close to my heart, and the author speaks with an honesty and courage that I admire.



Now here's my little disclaimer: I have not decided to infinitely become non-religious, and I actually do very much believe in a higher power. The entire aspect of a religious lifestyle, however, is simply not something that appeals to me at this time in my life. But I applaud (and envy a little) all of my dear, dear friends that have a courage in their convictions I may never have.

With that said, the article.

"She of Little Faith"

Have you found a church family yet?' I'd never been asked this question before in my life, but since moving to the South four years ago, I've heard it dozens of times. At first I didn't understand. Had I found a church? A family? Huh? And why did the questioner care if and where I went to church? Four years later, I now understand the question. But it never fails to rattle me.

You see, I don't go to church. I'm not religious. I certainly have nothing against religion, and I'm happy for people who are happy being religious. But I myself am not. People have asked me why, and the answer is simply, I don't know. I just didn't grow up going to church. It never struck me as unusual because I didn't live in a particularly religious area. In fact, only a couple of my childhood friends went to church. My lack of religion just wasn't an issue. That was then.

Though living in Alabama has been an amazing experience, I am well aware that I'm an outsider. I don't have a Southern accent, and sometimes I have a bit of trouble understanding the really thick ones. I don't go for Southern food much, except the occasional fried okra. And ' here it comes ' I don't watch football. Not even college football; not even Alabama vs. Auburn. But perhaps what makes me most different is the fact that I don't attend church. For one thing, my lack of religion seems to startle and unnerve people. When a new acquaintance asks, 'Have you found a church family?,' I steel myself. And then I say, 'We don't go to church.' I used to chirp, 'Not yet! We're new here.' But even I have to admit that four years is not new anymore, and I don't want to lie. I say no, and I try to change the subject, but the awkwardness is still palpable.

When I first moved here, I wondered why people assumed that everyone goes to church. I tend to harbor few assumptions about people in general. For instance, I wouldn't ask a stranger, 'Where do your children go to school?' without knowing whether she has children. To me, the assumption that everyone does anything ' goes to church, has children ' was just plain strange.

Now I understand that it is a fair assumption, and a mainly accurate assumption. Happily, most of the wonderful people I've met in Alabama have been kind to me even after knowing I'm not religious. Once a woman said to me, 'Do you know that you're going to hell?' I didn't dignify that with a response, but I thought about it for a long time. And I concluded that she had to be wrong.

Because, the thing is, I am a good person. A real-life goodie-two-shoes, in fact. I've never tried drugs before ' never even smoked pot. I've never stolen anything. I rescue injured animals. I donate money to good causes. I'm devoted to my family. I'm the kind of person people phone at 2 a.m. when their car breaks down and they need a ride. I'll admit it ' I'm actually pretty geeky, straight as an arrow, considering my idea of a rockin' evening is a bubble bath and a good book.

But, ironically, in my years here I have met various people (some of whom happen to be church devotees) who do steal, do drugs and lie. I've seen them spank their children ' hard ' and say terrible things to them. I suppose they feel God will forgive them, like religion is some sort of moral Get Out of Jail Free card. But logically, if God is that forgiving, I would guess God will forgive me for not being religious.But those experiences are few and far between, and above all, I'm glad that the people around me have something in their lives that makes them as happy as their church families do. Something so positive and good. And aside from being told I was headed for hell, my other gripes are relatively minor. I don't like it when people tell me that God has a plan for me, because I have a plan for me, too. It actually makes me a bit nervous when people make questionable decisions and assume all will turn out because of God's plan. I don't like it when people ask for prayers and get offended when I say, 'You're in my thoughts.' I don't like being told ' often via strange e-mail forwards ' that many things I consider healthy and positive are sins. Gay relationships. Masturbation. Birth control. I simply don't understand, as I'm all for tolerance. Frankly, I want people to tolerate me. Recently during a casual gathering, one of the women said, 'I find now I don't even like to be around people who aren't Christians anymore. I wouldn't want one as a friend.' The others agreed fervently. Cue Kim. Exit stage left. But I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings, so I sat quietly with my hands in my lap, a frozen smile on my face and tried to nod at the appropriate times.

I know most church-going people probably think I'm missing something. Something so huge it can't be put into words. And as an open-minded person, I can say that I understand why they feel that way, and that maybe they're right.But for now, I find what I'm looking for, what I need out of life, in the little things: My daughter's smile. My husband's arm around me. My dogs' warm bodies curled against me. A beautiful painting by my grandmother, happy faces at a family reunion, a breathtaking sunset. And the knowledge that I'm good person, a moral person, a person who tries so hard not to hurt others. That's enough for me. I wish it were enough for everyone else.


Taken from
http://www.lipstickbhm.com/

You know who would make a great leader? My right hand.

It's Thursday, which means that yesterday was Wednesday. Which, of course, means that I had a drum lesson with Harry last night.

I was so determined to show him my dedication in practicing that I did not fear when he wanted to jump right into trading fours. With confidence I kept the beat up, and he did notice my definite improvement. I was feeling great about things.

He decided he wanted to focus on fills for a while. Remember what fills are? you can recall them Here. I asked him to go over some basic fills with me, since I wanted to continue my practice, but was kind of at a loss what to do when I was alone at home. So we went over something called "Sixteenth notes"

We started out with just the snare (this is also something we kind of went over last Wednesday, when I was first learning of fills), but eventually Harry wanted me to incorporate more of the toms into the fill. This proved to be pretty frustrating for me. Often, I can do things when Harry is right there playing it with me, and I can hear the correct way, and then I just choke when I have to do it on my own. I had to explain to him about how my brain works in that super special way that I don't learn things slowly, but rather not at all until I get that epiphany and I just get it.

So we're drumming, and I'm sucking at it, and he notices something. I'm leading with my left hand. (Leading, for those who are like 'say, what?' means I'm hitting the first note with my left hand, as opposed to starting off with my right.) Which is odd, seeing as I'm right handed. This is making ALL of the difference. He seems a little nervous about this, because if I have a tendency to always lead with my left hand, things are going to "get really ugly" later on down the line for me. Harry's the kind of teacher who doesn't want to interfere with the creative process for an individual, so he didn't want to outright say that I had to break that right now. But I said it. I'm already pretty sure that I'm super slow at learning already, so I don't need anything else slowing me down.

Even though I learned of my subconcious handicap, I thought yesterday went pretty well. The bad news is (even though it's awesome news for Harry) he got an apartment that he's moving into in January, and I'm going to have to give up my beloved practice kit. (rightfully so, they ARE his, after all.) So I may not be getting the Wii for christmas after all in favor of my own practice kit so I can continue "rocking out."

and now, obligatory pictures:

Evil Left hand

Pure and Good Right hand

My beloved drum kit I have to give up : (

Regina George is NOT sweet

One thing my friends and I have learned how to spot is a "life ruiner."

What is a 'life ruiner'? Simple. One who ruins the lives around him/her with their actions.

Some classic examples of "life ruiners":

Regina George. The pinacle of "mean girls," she ruined several lives, including stealing back her exboyfriend from Cady and spreading a viscious rumor about Janis Ian.

Jacob Black in the Twilight series. He competes with Edward, which is not cool. Not to mention he's ugly, and cocky. Sorry, Jacob.

Myself. I include myself because Lucy once told me I would "ruin her life" if I made her go to the galleria on a Saturday in November.

I thought about this because Katie and I were talking about how much we hate the very presence of Jacob Black in the Twilight series, and how useless his very existence is. She actually used the term "life ruiner," so it got me thinking about other life ruiners I know of, fictional or real.

Here's the list I came up with:

1.Sallie Mae-these people ruin several thousands of people's lives every day with their incesent student loan payments

2.Marissa Cooper-quit your whining and moping around. You know why Ryan is so light-hearted in season 4 of the OC? because you're not around to drag him into your dramz.

3. The Malfoys. You and your creepy toe-head dad need to chill out, already.

4. Mrs. Galloway, my first grade teacher. She made me cry several times, and definitely ruined what little life I had in the first grade, and now she's set up to ruin my niece's life too in two years, because I looked at the roster the other day and she STILL teaches there.

5. Dr. James Gordan. My friend Brett worked in a law office for a summer in college and said this man was sued for than anyone he ever heard of. Not to mention he ruined my life daily with his horrible commercials.

6. The cable guy (thank you, Jordan Holsombeck). This guy ruined Matthew Broderick's life for an entire awful two hours.

7. Apparently, this chick.

http://pissedoffduck.blogspot.com/2007/08/life-ruiners-diane-warren.html

8. Lucy, from the Peanuts comic strip. She was constantly ruining lives. Pulling away footballs, shooting down perfectly good christmas trees, giving bad psychiatric advice. What an awful child.

9. http://www.pbs.org/newshour/extra/features/jan-june05/deepthroat_6-01.pdf

Mark Felt, informer of the Watergate scandal. He took down an entire Presidency.

10. Scar, from the Lion King. Geeeeez. He got the king killed, the prince banished, and somehow managed to destroy the entire ecosystem of the pridelands in a matter of a few years. If that's not a life-ruining game plan, I don't know what is.

There's more, of course, but I can't blog all day about these people. I have to get back to work, and then I have to practice my drums tonight so Thursday's blog isn't filled with stories of me getting scolded again. Until then....

survey, courtesy of Shrop (who stole it from Joy, I'm fairly sure)

I love the smell of - downy dryer sheets, my niece's hair, vanilla, baked goods

People would say that I - am really random

I don't understand why - anyone likes twizzlers

When I wake up in the morning - I make myself focus on mentally picking out what I'm wearing to work while still snuggled in bed

I lost my willpower to -stay away from facebook

Life is - really, really good for me, despite all of my whining

My past made me - realize how incredibly stubborn/rebellious I can be

I get annoyed when - I see bike racks attached to cars. So pretentious. I even saw a bike rack attached to the back of a COP CAR. geeeeeez. stop saying "not only do I like to save the people, but the environment as well." get off of your high horse, Vestavia policeman.

Parties are not a good time to - decide you want to make out. Oh wait, that's EXACTLY what they are for.

Dogs are - amazingly loyal creatures

Cats are - something grown ass men who don't eat hamburgers should not be obsessed with, but are.

Tomorrow is - Saturday, where I get to pull double christmas cocktail duty with my company party following by black tie, white christmas

I have a low tolerance for -100% selfish people

I'm totally terrified of - losing all of my trust

I wonder why I thought my life would be - any different from anyone else's

I always knew that I would - do something special with my life.

Never in my life have I - wanted McDonald's hotcakes and sausage so badly as I do right now

High school was -fun for me. Particulary Roy Burn's class

When I'm nervous - I pinch the skin between my thumb and forefinger

One time at a family gathering -everyone laughed at my sister Kerry for getting really emotional during the prayer and saying "thank you for my baby!!!" really loud. (she was pregnant with Jillian at this point)


Take my advice - always find some way to imagine that water bottle as a rocket ship (in other words, keep a little bit of your 'inner child')

Making my bed - is something I like to do when I have the time, because it's nice to get into it after a looooooong day

I'm almost always -saying exactly what I'm thinking, whether I like it or not

I'm addicted to -facebook, sunny d, twilight books, icecream

I want someone to - bring me some breakfast right now

You're a mean one, Mr. Miree

ok, so he's not really.

But I did get scolded at my drum lesson last night for not practicing enough. I say scolded, because even though it was probably the nicest way he could have possibly said it, I felt like I was in trouble when he was finished talking.

So, I have to practice more. ALOT more. Like every day. Because I want to be good-not just ok, or average or "good enough" or whatever. I want to actually be good at this.

On a better note, I felt pretty good about last night's lesson (other than the scolding)

I learned how a lot of songs go in rythms of 2's and 4's, you have, say, 3 segments (he used another word, but for the life of me I can not remember what it was now) are the basic beat or the "groove", and the 4th rythm is considered the fill, which can be anything you want, as long as it can keep the pulse and transition nicely into the next set of groove.

Then, to help me learn about different basic kinds of "fills," we played something he called "the echo game," where he played a certain beat and then I tried to copy. I wasn't perfect, of course, but I felt pretty good about how it went. I did better than I would have expected from myself.

I really had a good time. I love learning something new, and now I must learn to be more disciplined in my practice, so I can keep moving forward.

Below please enjoy some youtube clips of some female drummers that will melt your face off, and know that I will someday too:


Sheila E




Gina Shock




Vik Foxx

Act-O-Kindness December

Now I know I shouldn't just do this for the month of December, but I thought "Hey-it's Christmas, and what is Christmas all about if not kindness?"

So I've decided to do (at least) one random act of kindness every day this month. Hopefully it will spill over into my every day life, but when you're 25 and living where I live, sometimes things can get pretty self-involved. I suggest you do the same this month. It doesn't take but a second to help someone out.

I'm not going to document this all, because it seems inappropriate to make a science project out of it, but just to let you know-if you need anything, anything at all, that I can help you with, let me know.

“We ask, therefore, that we may be worthy of our power and responsibility, that we may exercise our strength with wisdom and restraint, and that we may achieve in our time and for all time the ancient vision of ‘peace on earth, good will toward men.’ That must always be our goal, and the righteousness of our cause must always underlie our strength.”

~John F Kennedy